We’ve all had challenging situations that leave us feeling tired or discouraged. Here is something neat to ponder during those times. Take a look at this report and reflect on this man’s record of failure. It is a testament to how humans can learn and grow and win despite the losses and defeats.
Failed in business———————1831
Defeated for legislature————–1832
Failed in business again————–1833
Elected to legislature—————–1834
Sweetheart died———————–1835
Nervous breakdown——————-1836
Defeated for speaker—————–1838
Defeated for land officer————-1843
Defeated for congress—————-1843
Elected to congress——————-1846
Defeated for re-election————–1848
Defeated for senate——————-1855
Defeated for vice president———-1856
Defeated for senate——————-1858
Elected President———————-1860
Who was he? Abraham Lincoln.
He picked himself up no matter what and kept on going after his dream. He educated himself and did whatever it took to keep moving in the direction of his passions.
If you reflect back on your life, you can find patterns of the times you grew the most. Many of those times were probably a result of some kind of previous ‘failure,’ maybe even a series of them. Each failure is a learning experience.
With this in mind, choose the one thing that may not be going exactly as you wish right now and do one thing to move you closer to achieving the result you want. And remember, life is about learning and growing.
3 Responses to “Learning and Growing Despite Defeat”
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I remember when I was younger and in school, fear stopped me from asking out a girl I wanted to date. I can remember all the thoughts of different things I wanted to say and how I would ask her out. But as quickly as the thoughts to ask her out popped in my head, I came up with all the reasons why she might say no. I remember the "feeling" of rejection and embarrassment even though I didn’t even pick up the phone! It’s as real in my mind right now as it was then.
I didn’t understand it then but I certainly do today.
Do you ever have any thoughts of fear that cause you to not to move ahead with any of your dreams or goals?
Every human on earth at one time or another feels this "fear" and reverts back into their "safety" or comfort zone. The system was created to protect us in times of real danger but we must learn when danger is real or caused by our imagination of what may happen…again.
What ability causes one person to face and overcome possible rejection at work, in school or in a relationship? On the other hand what causes someone to be paralyzed by a mere thought? Consider the following:
- A man who goes after business like a tiger may be uncomfortable with women and therefore not be able to approach a woman for fear of rejection.
- A woman who is miserable in a relationship may be petrified at the thought of saying anything to her spouse in fear of the potential discussion or backlash.
- A child may not seek out other children to play with at school in fear of rejection.
The list can go on and on, from fear of leaving your job, to fear of hurting yourself if you try something new. So, what is really going on, and how can we stop this once and for all?
First and foremost, understand that fear is a very common feeling and we all have one fear or another. The "feeling" of fear is almost solely based on what we think may happen if we try and fail. It is different than actually knowing that we will hurt ourselves if we fall 20 stories from a building.
Most fears are illusions we create in our own head, based on past conditioning and not based on what is possible. As children we are natural born risk takers and for the most part we are fearless. The meaning we give an experiences when we do not achieve the result we want, determines how we "see" and "feel" the next opportunity that seems like the one we’ve experienced in the past.
If we experience rejection more times than we care to, we tend to mentally label the experience a negative one. Over time, this becomes our belief, and our beliefs, as you already know, becomes our reality.
But…:
- What would happen if we changed the meaning of an experience we didn’t like?
- What if we learned to label the experience a learning one or an interesting one?
- Do you think your tolerance level would increase for trying again?
I have learned that people who really succeed in various areas of life often frame their experiences differently than those who quickly label the experience as a negative one.
When we feel fear, we are playing a mental track that is not conducive to growth. All growth comes from stretching oneself past the comfort zone that limits us. Risk is a necessary part of the reward. You cannot have one without the other.
Let me suggest that you start to label your experiences in a way that serves you rather than limits you.
We have very few limits except the ones that we set on ourselves. And those are mostly out of fear from the past. Do not let your past control your present thinking. Step out and grow. Step out of your comfort zone and be free again!
John
6 Responses to “Crossing the Line of Fear”
It is an ever re-occurring hurdle…sometimes mild, sometimes horrific.
For me, the best way to get over it is to create an even stronger emotion of passion (sometimes stubbornness) to do what I am terrified of, anyway.Very true, fear is a chain.
I recently heard a training that stated “feel the fear, and do it anyway”
Thanks. This helps a lot! Very timely for me.
John,
The last paragraph in this post…says it all!!!
Words of TRUTH,and accuracy!
Karin Hiebert
John,
The last paragraph in this post…says it all!!!
Words of TRUTH,and accuracy!
Karin Hiebert
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Hi friends,
I recently found another article on brain research that describes how mindset-changing techniques can be applied to management. The brain is a powerful tool, and I am always excited about the discoveries made in brain science. I was lucky enough to get a PDF version of the article to share with you!
John
2 Responses to “The Neuroscience of Leadership”
Thanks for sharing this article – please do share more if you have them.
I am starting to work with organizations as a coach and a trainer – came to me right on time.
MichalThanks for sharing this article – please do share more if you have them.
I am starting to work with organizations as a coach and a trainer – came to me right on time.
Michal
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For today’s blog I thought you’d enjoy an article I read that I really like, and it supports one of the reasons I visualize daily. Here’s to you!
John
How The Brain Rewires Itself
By SHARON BEGLEY
Friday, Jan. 19, 2007
It was a fairly modest experiment, as these things go, with volunteers trooping into the lab at Harvard Medical School to learn and practice a little five-finger piano exercise. Neuroscientist Alvaro Pascual-Leone instructed the members of one group to play as fluidly as they could, trying to keep to the metronome’s 60 beats per minute. Every day for five days, the volunteers practiced for two hours. Then they took a test.
At the end of each day’s practice session, they sat beneath a coil of wire that sent a brief magnetic pulse into the motor cortex of their brain, located in a strip running from the crown of the head toward each ear. The so-called transcranial-magnetic-stimulation (TMS) test allows scientists to infer the function of neurons just beneath the coil. In the piano players, the TMS mapped how much of the motor cortex controlled the finger movements needed for the piano exercise. What the scientists found was that after a week of practice, the stretch of motor cortex devoted to these finger movements took over surrounding areas like dandelions on a suburban lawn.
The finding was in line with a growing number of discoveries at the time showing that greater use of a particular muscle causes the brain to devote more cortical real estate to it. But Pascual-Leone did not stop there. He extended the experiment by having another group of volunteers merely think about practicing the piano exercise. They played the simple piece of music in their head, holding their hands still while imagining how they would move their fingers. Then they too sat beneath the TMS coil.
When the scientists compared the TMS data on the two groups–those who actually tickled the ivories and those who only imagined doing so–they glimpsed a revolutionary idea about the brain: the ability of mere thought to alter the physical structure and function of our gray matter. For what the TMS revealed was that the region of motor cortex that controls the piano-playing fingers also expanded in the brains of volunteers who imagined playing the music–just as it had in those who actually played it.
"Mental practice resulted in a similar reorganization" of the brain, Pascual-Leone later wrote. If his results hold for other forms of movement (and there is no reason to think they don’t), then mentally practicing a golf swing or a forward pass or a swimming turn could lead to mastery with less physical practice. Even more profound, the discovery showed that mental training had the power to change the physical structure of the brain.
2 Responses to “How the Brain Rewires Itself”
This is really inspirational _ I’m going to take a few minutes right now to visualize what I want in my life.
This is really inspirational _ I’m going to take a few minutes right now to visualize what I want in my life.
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Hi Friends!
I once coached a mega-successful entrepreneur who by any standards has made it big. As we got deeper and deeper into what life is really about, I asked him a question, “What’s the purpose of your life?”
For over a minute he just stared at me and then asked, “What do you mean?”
So I repeated the same question again, and added “What are you on this earth and journey for?”
He sat there with a blank stare on his face and then started to cry like a baby. He had never even thought about that question once. He felt saddened that his life seemed to have little if any meaning. We quickly remedied that feeling by going over all the wonderful things he had done. Then we really got into his true life’s purpose, and all I can tell you is that now he is so-o-o-o-o-o jazzed!
As with almost every person I meet, they have not really asked themselves that question, let alone have an answer for it. Let me suggest that each one of us is here to do something special. It is our job to discover what that something is and fulfill it. For example, here is what I believe is my own purpose:
The purpose of my life is to live, to love, to grow and to be mega-happy. It is also to be a great father to Keenan and Noah and to love, inspire and serve others.
It has taken me many years of questions, and many refinements to get my own purpose so clear. The value for me is that once I am clear about my life’s purpose, I can be clear about what I do on a daily basis. It allows me to feel good about my self and what I will contribute to this planet before and after I die.
Remember to laugh and be silly and to create a great life!
John
2 Responses to “What’s Your “Purpose”?”
I feel that the first half of my life my purpose has been fulfilled. Now, the second half is here and I asked myself often..What is my purpose for the second half of my life.
I absolutey have to be around children. I miss them so much.I owned my own childcare centers. The thing is..I don’t want to own them anymore but still want to be with children. I want to be successful like i was before..I miss the feeling that I made a difference. Ii need that feeling back again. How do I ask for the second half of my life’s purpose?
I’m guess I am sort of stuck or confused on what I want to do when I grow up!
Thank you..MelodyI feel that the first half of my life my purpose has been fulfilled. Now, the second half is here and I asked myself often..What is my purpose for the second half of my life.
I absolutey have to be around children. I miss them so much.I owned my own childcare centers. The thing is..I don’t want to own them anymore but still want to be with children. I want to be successful like i was before..I miss the feeling that I made a difference. Ii need that feeling back again. How do I ask for the second half of my life’s purpose?
I’m guess I am sort of stuck or confused on what I want to do when I grow up!
Thank you..Melody
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Hey friends,
Last weekend I attended the world movie premiere of Pass It On, the new movie I am in that is now in final editing. About 800 people attended the red carpet event, and press from major TV, radio and media outlets were there, and Robin Leach was the host. Boy it was fun! My friends Greg Reid and Scott Evans produced the film and they did a great job creating this movie in just six months. It features over 50 teachers from every walk of life, including sports celebrities, politicians, Hollywood actors and ordinary people like me who have a word or two to share with the world about achieving success
The beautiful woman in the picture is my wonderful partner in life and my wife…Maria. Don’t let the size difference confuse you. SHE is the boss!
If you have a chance, check out the info about the movie at www.PassItOnToday.com.
John
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Hey friends,
I think that I’m prepared to take a few risks. However, I’ve met my match times 100 when I watched this video. The video takes the cake for me when it comes to having big kahunas to overcome fear. This guy is right off the charts doing what he loves.
I cannot even fathom the fear he overcame to do this, and as a matter of fact, my imagination doesn’t even comprehend his courage. All I can say is this: if he can do that, I can overcome some of my insecurities, doubts, fears and anxieties…what about yours?
John
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Like anyone with a message that matters, I am passionate about becoming a more effective communicator. So it was a real honor for me to receive Toastmasters International’s highest annual award last weekend, the Communication and Leadership Award, which was awarded to me by District 5 Governor Cindy Scott.
I am always working to reach people—whether in print, online, on camera, or in person—with information that can change their lives for the better, and I’ve found Toastmasters to be an excellent place to work on the craft of public speaking, and also to share my message with a receptive audience, as I did last weekend.
Thank you Toastmasters International!
John
We must learn from him.He is one of the best example for “How to live life”….:)
Thanks john u r best……:)
John,
This is amazing. It shows that if we have the passion in our hearts there really isn’t no such thing as failure.
John,
This is amazing. It shows that if we have the passion in our hearts there really isn’t no such thing as failure.